Sunday, March 14, 2010

Old School vs New School, or 1958 vs. 2008

Scenario: Jim goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jim's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jim hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Sean and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1958 - Crowd gathers. Sean wins. Mark and Sean shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Mark and Sean. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Mark started it.

Scenario:
Bob won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1958 - Bob sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Bob given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Bob has a disability.

Scenario:
Chris breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1958 - Chris is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Chris's dad is arrested for child abuse. Chris removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Chris's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Chris's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario:
Phil gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1958 - Phil shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Phil expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.

1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Geoff takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1958 - Ants die.
2008 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Geoff charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Geoff's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny under goes 5 years of therapy.